40 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

Someone sent this to us in an email once and we haven't really gotten to putting it up until now. So here you go:

1. Give yourself a paper cut and make a point of showing him the blood, then put it in your mouth and say "Mmmmm, delicious!! Want some?"
2. Use vampire expressions like, "Holy Dracula!" and "Goodbye sweet Transylvania."
3. Ask him to help you do something impossible. (Save the world, build an atomic clock, etc.) Then when he can't, say, "Oh nevermind. I'm sure Jacob could help me."
4. Volunteer him for a blood drive.
5. Hold up a bottle of ketchup and say, "Look! BLOOOOOD!!!"
6. Throw him to a horde of crazy fan girls
7. Tie Bella to some railroad tracks. When he gets mad, say, "Wow, a little overprotective aren't we?"
8. Ask him, "Hey! Aren't you the at one guy from Harry Potter?"
9. Repetedly mention that he's not a real vampire.
10. Suggest that his life is too stressful. Recommend aromatherapy.
11. Leave bloody, dead animals laying around. Insist that you're helping him with his aromatherapy.
12. Kidnap Bella. When he asks where she is, nonchelantly say, "Don't worry about it."
13. When he talks about how much he loves Bella, ask, "Aren't you a little young to know what love is? Maybe you should wait until you're a few years older."
14. Run over his Volvo with Bella's truck.
15. Read the back of the Twilight books to him. Bonus points for using a dramatic announcer voice.
16. Visualize his life in 20 years. SUV, suburban house, 12 kids.
17. Laugh when Bella trips...loudly.
18. Ask him where he gets his body glitter.
19. Suggest self-tanner
20. Point out the circles unde his eyes. Tell him to get more sleep.
21. Offer to lend him your concealer.
22. Withdraw the offer. Tell him that he's too pale for this shade.
23. Tell him that we're getting tired of his "scary" act.
24. Redecorate his room with Care-Bears.
25. Wear tin-foil on your head. When he asks why, tell him that it's to keep him from reading your mind.
26. Pour ketchup on Bella
27. Plant dasies in his house.
28. Push Bella in front of a bus
29. Whenever he comes into a room, start mentally singing the 'Gilligan's Island' theme song.
30. Take Bella shopping. "Accidentally" leave her at the mall.
31. Take all of his CD's. Replace them with every single Disney soundtrack.
32. Roll in glitter and run around screaming, "Look at me! I'm Edward! I'm Edward!"
33. Write him love poems and sign them from Jacob.
34. Give him your divorce attorney's card. Tell him it's "Just in case."
35. Diagnose him randomly. "Maybe you're just an insomniac." "You look anemic. Have you been eating enough red meat?" "Maybe it's a vitamin D deficiency."
36. Invite small children to his house for 'scary story time.'
37. Paint his room pink.
38. Wave wooden crosses and strings of garlic at him randomly. When he asks you what you're doing, say, "I read this works somewhere."
39. Mail him a llama. When he asks why, ask, "Why not?"
40. Call him Eddy...all the time.